Category: Family

Work Life Imbalance by Rian van der Merwe

“See, the time I spend with people is what gives my work meaning. I do what I do for them—for the people in my life, the people I know, and the people I don’t. If we never spend time away from our work, how can we understand the world and the people we make things for?”

Rain’s first column on A List Apart is already one of my favorites. A cliché as it is to say this I will. I could quote the whole damn thing.

Remember, everything your employer or client does is to get more out of you. It’s not nefarious, it’s driven into everyone. From the employee feeling like they have to work hard (and they should ) long (and they shouldn’t) hours to the leaders trying to get the most out of their employees. It’s a vicious circle. Only you as an individual can change that.

 

Children Should Not Be Shackled

“D.C. Public Defender Andrew Crespo remembers a 2011 case where his client, who was 8 at the time, was led into the courtroom in 2-pound restraints. The boy, who weighed about 60 pounds, sat in a chair with his feet dangling. Prosecutors said the boy allegedly touched a little girl inappropriately at his birthday party hours earlier and he was arrested for sexual assault. Before the hearing, Crespo said, his client kept whispering: “My mommy said I can still have my birthday cake. I can still have my cake, right?” Crespo recalled. The charges were later dropped.”

Jesus. This hit really close to home. My daughter is 8 and I could see her acting very similar. Haunting to imagine your own child in that situation. Maybe I should become a public defender.

The groups working to correct this overreaching and repugnant behavior are the National Juvenile Defender Center, D.C. Lawyers for Youth and the D.C. Public Defender Service.

Minecraft Over My Little Pony

“The idea that sitting and watching Spongebob should be tossed into the same bucket as playing ABC Mouse is absolutely insane. …[My] Nine year old wants to lay on the couch and watch Ninjago all afternoon. Not happening. Want to play Minecraft with your friends all afternoon? Yes!”

Gabe over at Penny Arcade shares his thoughts around limiting ‘screen time’ with children. I’m in the same boat – if Kari wants to be creative and build a village/cat hotel in Minecraft, by all means do so. If you want to watch The Today Show and/or a 30 minute cartoon with 10 minutes of crappy commercials? Nope.

I’m never going to make a living or save a life because of the skills I’ve developed playing video games, but they have enabled me to express creativity, learn how to solve problems, and work within the constraints of design (not to mention some pretty slick hand/eye coordination) that passive media such as TV can never present. Heck, they (THEY!) have recently done research into the benefits of letting children play video games.

Related, I also think kids should go romping in the woods/creek/neighborhood more often. Check out this  NPR story titled, “Where the Wild Things Play“.

Being Poor as a Kid

“For the most part, when you have kids, everything you do for them becomes the reflection of who you are as a person. A poor mother would think, “I should be able to provide my children with a pleasure as simple as a happy meal. But I can’t afford meals for all of us. So I’ll get my children happy meals.” And done. Very little more thought goes into it. We don’t want to limit the normal experiences of childhood for them. So we do what we can to give them even the bare minimum of that.
It probably never even occurred to OP’s mom that she was depriving herself in order to provide something nice for her children. You think “this will make them happy” and then the thought train stops there.”

/u/OvercaffeinateMe  in “what memory from your childhood makes you think “wow we were poor”?” on Reddit

 

So many comments in this thread hit really close to home.

33

I turned 33 today, which as far as birthdays go isn’t the most remarkable. It’s not the milestone of 21 or the “You’re old. Yuk yuk.” filled celebration of 40. It’s just kind of a date in the middle.

The denotation of the Earth traversing the Sun is an apt time to reflect on past events. I enjoy using apps such as Timehop and digging back through blog posts and Flickr uploads to keep myself grounded in time. It’s easy to get swept up in daily life and skew your memory of how long ago (or how recent) things have happened.

That said – Man, this year has been crazy so far.

In March I helped to organize and presented at WordCamp St. Louis. We’re already starting to talk about next year!

My wife, daughter, and I traveled to Indianapolis at the end of March and had a great week in the city. I was able to spend a lot of time with Kari and we bonded a bit.

In April my wife’s rescue hosted our first Car Show fundraiser. It was a fun experience and I’m glad we tried something new to garner interest in the cause.

Just this past month I traveled to Montreal for work. It was my first time out of the country and I had a great time. I was able to see some of the city, take in some of the culture and food, and present at my first international conference. 🙂

We still have two vacations planned (!) for this year, the first is a trip at the end of June to Florida. My daughter is competing at a big dance conference in Panama City and we’ve turned it into a family vacation with my sister and her brood. Oh, speaking of my sister, Jess got married to Donnie, which is something of an event in itself.

The other trip is in late July. My dad, Kari, myself, and maybe Jackie will be taking a road trip to Rapid City, SD to visit Mount Rushmore. The trip itself is the vacation and echoes a trip my dad and I took right before I got my first car. This trip is also a milestone of sorts for Kari as it will be the last family vacation before she’s a big sister. That’s right. We’re expecting our second child in September. That’s kind of the Pièce de résistance for this year.

I don’t feel 33, but I feel 33. I still like to play Lego with Kari (and sometimes when she’s not around, but don’t tell her that!). I still enjoy video games – although I’m much more interested in portable gaming than sitting in front of the TV which is a bit of a change. I still like many things from years past, but I also like things I didn’t when I was younger.

I enjoy taking care of my lawn. Yeah, that feeling when you step back after spending a few hours mowing, trimming, seeding, etc. As Delmar O’Donnel said in O Brother, Where Art Thou?, “You ain’t no kind of man if you ain’t got land.” There’s something to that pride when you’re a homeowner.

I also like mustard on my deli sandwiches and have a better tolerance for alcohol. I’m not a beer drinker, but I’m a huge rum and coke/hard cider guy. The younger Chris never cared much for anything with alcohol, but I’m growing into a comfortable space and can have a drink or two.

I’m writing this all down for myself. It gives me a chance to stick a push-pin in time. A future self can hopefully look back on this year as a happy reminder of things going well.